Judy turns fifty. Three days later her husband takes seven thousand dollars from their joint account and buys a diamond ring for his much younger mistress. A week later Judy discovers all of this and, quite upset, she calls him at work for an explanation. And he says, "Yes but the check didn't bounce..."
Bring 'round the boat
Bring 'round the boat, girls
Bring 'round the boat, girls
From what I hear
The island's very nice this time of year
Sheila tells the policeman, "I've got all of his phone messages here on a cassette marked 'Death Threats'. No, he never sent any letters, he's dyslexic so he doesn't like to write anything, ever. It's funny, he always said how that made him more compassionate..."
Bring 'round the boat
Bring 'round the boat, girls
Bring 'round the boat, girls
From what I hear
The island's very nice this time of year
White sand, beaches and emerald seas
Palm trees swayin' in the Mediterranean breeze
Sunshine every day of the week
And all the signs are in Greek
Linda's boyfriend walks in the door. He just drove the fourteen-year-old babysitter home and his tie is untied and his shirt's buttoned up all wrong. He puts the keys on the table, looks up at Linda and says, "Oh did we need milk?"
Bring 'round the boat
Bring 'round the boat, girls
Bring 'round the boat, girls
From what I hear
The island's very nice this time of
Year
Bring 'round the boat, bring 'round the boat, bring 'round the boat
Bring 'round the boat, girls
'Cos the island's very nice this time of year
Anchors away